Blind
by kimiko888
Summary: The signs were all there, they were always there. And somehow, even though I spent so much time with him, I overlooked them all. Every single one.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**I usually don't do tragedy because I can be a real wimp sometimes and it will make me cry, but this idea came to me out of the blue one day. It was actually inspired by the movie **_**Dakota Skye **_**when they're looking over the Grand Canyon and having the conversation about falling and then the idea just kind of exploded from there. Well, I hope you like it! I haven't done a oneshot in a while.**

**Blind**

**The signs were all there, they were always there. And somehow, even though I spent so much time with him, I overlooked them all. Every single one.**

"If you were going to fall to your death, would you want to be face down, looking for the end, or looking up at the sky, just kicking back and enjoying the ride?"

"What kind of question is that?" I asked, stepping up and sitting beside Inuyasha on the roof as he looked down at the ground that was my front yard. If he fell from here, the worst that could happen would be a broken leg.

"It's just a question," Inuyasha shrugged. "So, which is it?"

I thought about it for a second. "Well, the way you asked it is pretty biased, but I'd want to be face down. I'd want to know exactly how much time I had left."

"Not me," Inuyasha said, shaking his head, though I already knew he wasn't going to agree with me. "I'd want to enjoy everything, make it seem like there was no end to life." His smile was sad. "It would always be like this."

I scooted closer to Inuyasha and rested my head on his shoulder, throwing his arm over my shoulder. "Who says it has to end?"

Inuyasha looked down at me for a second, his expression unreadable, and he kissed my forehead, resting his head on mine and pulling me closer. "Everything comes to an end, Kagome."

**That should have been my first hint.**

-x-

"So, do you want to hit the amusement park or got to the movies today?" I asked, flipping through a magazine as I lied on my back across Inuyasha's bed, swinging my feet. "It's kind of sunny out today, so I want to go to the park. It's been raining a lot lately."

"Yeah?" Inuyasha was walking out of his bathroom with a towel draped over his head, his shirt missing. I sat up to get a better look at him and he took a seat next to me. "Then I guess it would be nice to ride some rides without getting soaked."

"Really?" I looked at him brightly and he just smiled. "I mean, we don't have to since I know you haven't been feeling well lately, but if you're really up to it…"

"Yeah," Inuyasha nodded, getting off the bed to look for a shirt. "Life's about living it to the fullest, right? We'll go to the park while we still can."

"I think the saying pertains more to things like traveling around the world or going sky diving, we have plenty of time to go to the amusement park together." I closed my magazine and smiled at him as he pulled a black t-shirt over his head. "But we can see the world and go skydiving together too."

Inuyasha froze for a second before pulling his shirt all the way down to reveal his face. His eyes were shining in the way that always made my knees go weak and he walked back over to the bed, leaning down to kiss me, slowly, sensually, and even though it wasn't heated I was still breathing hard when he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine.

"Let's go to the park, Kagome."

-x-

"Let's go down to the pier," I suggested, finding the sudden urge to swing my legs over the edge. "Just for a second."

"Kagome, it's almost midnight." Inuyasha was still lying on his back in the sand next to the fire that was beginning to die out. He had been doing that all day practically, only getting in the water for twenty minutes. "Can we just rest?"

"You can't come to the beach and not sit on the pier."

"We've done it plenty of times before." He dead panned, tossing an arm over his face, truly preparing to go to sleep on me.

"That was then, this is now." I walked over to him and pulled on his arm, trying to force his massive body of muscle to move at my will. "Come on, Inuyasha. I really want to go."

Inuyasha was quiet for a while and I waited for my answer patiently, the firewood popping in the silence. Inuyasha's eyes were closed and his breathing was even and I was convinced that he really did fall asleep on me until he opened one of his eyes to stare at me.

"You really want to go?"

I smiled. "Yes."

Inuyasha sighed and closed his eyes again and after a second he sat up. I took his hand and helped him up, draping his arm over my shoulders. I was surprised when Inuyasha leaned on me for support, but when I turned to asked him if he was okay he gave me one of his easy going, everything-is-fine smiles and I brushed the thought off. He was probably punishing me for making him get off his lazy ass.

When we reached the pier we sat by the edge, legs swinging back and forth just like I had imagined. Inuyasha's hand rested near mine and I reached over to lace our fingers together. He turned to smile at me before looking back up at the sky.

"Are you looking for a UFO or something?" I asked looking up at the black sky as well. "I hear those things are myths."

"No, smartass." I shot him a goofy grin and Inuyasha gave me a weak push to the side with his free hand. "I'm looking for a shooting star."

"Really?" That always seemed like it should be a girl's line, but Inuyasha delivered it perfectly. "Why?"

"To make a wish." Inuyasha laid back and pulled me down with him.

"Wishing doesn't ensure things will come true," I reminded him.

"I never thought of you to be a pessimist."

"I'm not; I'm a _realist _and realist—"

"Think negatively."

"They put things into perspective, jerk." I closed my eyes, taking my hand away from Inuyasha's and folding it over my stomach with my left.

"What would you wish for if a shooting star did come?"

"Um… a miracle. Of course, now my wish won't come true since I told you."

"A miracle?" Inuyasha's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"It sounds pretty noble to me, and isn't that what everyone is praying for?" I stared up at the sky. "And what's better than a miracle?"

Inuyasha turned his head and just stared at me for a few seconds before smiling and looking back at the sky.

"An eternity."

**The star should have come that night. It really should have come.**

-x-

"What do you want most in the world, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked as we lay together on his bed, tangled under the light soft sheets.

I drew random patterns on his stomach with my finger, my head resting on his chest. "What's with all of these sudden questions lately?"

"Kagome."

"Fine," I huffed and Inuyasha laughed above my head, leaning down to give me a quick kiss. "I want for the loans I have to pay for college to just suddenly disappear along with all the debt I might owe."

"I was hoping for a serious answer."

"That is a serious answer!" Inuyasha laughed again and pulled me closer to him, resting his lips on my forehead and I closed my eyes in content.

"So, if you could have anything in the world you would want your debt paid?"

I thought about it for a second. "No."

"Then what is it?"

"To be with you," I whispered, placing a kiss on his chest. "Forever."

"Yeah." Inuyasha's grip tightened around my waist and he pulled me even closer to him than we already were. "Me too."

-x-

He was coughing.

I had come home early—Inuyasha's place now serving as my own home for about four months—my books tucked under my arm and the groceries I picked up in my hand and I could hear his hacking from the bathroom. It sounded like the type of cough that really hurt your chest and end in a wheeze. He was doing a lot of coughing.

"Inuyasha?" I placed the groceries on the table and my books and keys next to them. I opened a cabinet to see if we had any coughing medicine, which, we didn't.

"Inuyasha," I called out again, heading towards the bedroom. The second I walked into the room the bathroom door slammed shut and there was an undeniable click of the lock. "Hey," I walked over to the door and knocked lightly, "are you okay in there?"

"I'm fine," He called out through the door but he sounded like he was straining. "I'm—" He was cut off by another fit off coughing and there was a crash.

"Stop being stupid Inuyasha and open the door!" I demanded, pounding against it now. "Come on, open up!"

"Go away, Kagome!" He barked and I was taken aback for a second. "I'm f—" he started hacking again. "I'm fine!"

"Inuyasha, you're not—"

"Go away!"

"Inuyasha!"

There was no answer this time and I got fed up, slamming my body against the door. To my benefit, Inuyasha's bathroom lock has always been iffy and the door opened for me, letting me get a good look at what it was Inuyasha was trying to hide.

Blood.

There was blood on the floor, spots on the counter, tissues splattered in the red substance falling around the trash can. Blood fell from the corners of Inuyasha's mouth as he tried to quiet another cough and all I could do was stare at him. His skin was pale as he rested against the side of the tub, breathing heavily, looking too weak to stand.

"Inuyasha…"

"Feh." He wiped the blood that stained his face away with his arm in a fluid motion. "I told you to go away."

"Inuyasha, you're… you're…" I looked over our bathroom again, the blood popping off everything. "You're sick!"

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock." Inuyasha bit out angrily as I hurried over to his side.

"What's… what's…" The blood was still engraved in my mind and I had to shake my head to try and clear the image. "We need to get you to the hospital." I grabbed his hand and began trying to help him up. "Come on, we—"

"Stop Kagome," Inuyasha snarled, ripping his hand away from me, refusing to look at me. "I'm fine."

"No you're not!" I was near hysterics, my head beginning to swim. "Inuyasha, you're sick and this is not time for your man pride! We have to go—"

"It's fine Kagome," Inuyasha cut me off, softer this time. "I'm fine."

"What are you talking about, you're throwing up blood!" My vision was blurry now. "Nothing good comes from throwing up blood."

"I know what's wrong," Inuyasha sighed, leaning his head forward to rest against my shoulder. "I'm sick. I've been sick for years."

I stared wide eyed at Inuyasha's head that rested against me. "Wh-why… why didn't you tell me! We could have done something. We could have… looked for one of those special doctors that might be able to help. I could have _helped!_"

"No, you couldn't have," Inuyasha laughed sadistically, sending chills throughout my bones. "I've known about this for a long time and it's not getting better."

"We could still—"

"I'm dying," Inuyasha cut me off and I froze. "I'm dying." He was laughing this time and his shoulders began to shake and I wrapped my arms around him unconsciously. "I'm dying."

I was angry at him for not telling me sooner, letting me think we were going to grow old and die _together. _For letting me think my life was perfect. For letting me get angry at him for stupid reasons all those times when our time was limited. I hated him for it, hated God for letting it happen, hated myself for being oblivious to all of it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, tears falling down my cheeks silently as I squeezed him tighter. "Why?"

"I wanted to kick back and enjoy the ride." Inuyasha lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me through sad, half-lidded eyes. He coughed again and a thin line of blood fell from his lips but he seemed oblivious to it as he stared at me. "Pretend that there was no end to life."

-x-

A month later, Inuyasha was in the hospital.

Inuyasha looked different in his hospital bed. He was tired and pale and thin. His cocky smile was even taken down a few notches. But he was still Inuyasha, _my _Inuyasha, and I forced myself to walk through the doors and to Inuyasha's bedside.

"Hey," I greeted him in a soft voice, taking his hand closest to me in my own. "How's it going?"

"This place sucks," Inuyasha grumbled, glaring at his T.V screen. "There's nothing on T.V, it's boring, and it _stinks_. I hate it here." Inuyasha turned his head to look at me and sniffed the air. "You, however, smell delicious."

I smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him, sweet and slow. When I pulled back Inuyasha was smiling at me brightly; just how I liked it.

I could feel the stinging in the back of my eyes.

"Hey Kagome," Inuyasha said in his hoarse whisper as he stared into my eyes. "I missed ya."

"I don't see how." I looked at the number of flowers, balloons, cards, and candy that decorated the floor and window sill of Inuyasha's room. "Looks like you've had a lot of visitors."

"Yeah." Inuyasha looked over at the number of gifts he received. "Miroku, Sango, Ayame and the fleabag. Rin managed to bring Sesshoumaru and Kagura with her, Kaede," Inuyasha counted off on his fingers. "Even the runt managed to poke his head in." Inuyasha turned to me and gave me the weakened version of his smirk. "Kikyo stopped by."

"What!"

Inuyasha gave a throaty laugh and his grip around my hand tightened. "She only told me to get well. She finally got a hint after two and a half years."

Two and a half years I've been with Inuyasha. It wasn't nearly enough.

"You are going to get better, right?" I asked in vain, already knowing the answer as the tears fell from my eyes.

"Kagome…"

"Please…" I closed my eyes and rested my head on his bed. "Just lie to me. Just lie to me because…" I was sobbing now, my shoulders shaking and I squeezed Inuyasha's hand as hard as I could. "I don't know how I can live without you."

There was silence as I sobbed into the sheets and I felt Inuyasha use his other hand to run his fingers through my hair which began to calm me down.

"You're going to be fine," Inuyasha told me. "And that's not a lie."

I looked up slowly at him through teary eyes. He moved over a bit and lifted the corner of the sheet, inviting me in. I slid my shoes off and carefully slid in beside him and resting my head on his chest like I always did. Inuyasha's arm snaked around my shoulders and we lay quiet for a while.

"Souta came by too," Inuyasha said after we were quiet for about ten minutes. "He gave me some of his old comics to help pass the time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I actually read some too." I listened intently to Inuyasha's hoarse voice. "In them the guy is always near the brink of death and then, suddenly, he gets this strong will to live and pulls some crazy moves out of his ass and manages to win." His grip around me tightened. "I want nothing more than to live and be with you forever but…" I was starting to cry again. "I can't."

"Inuyasha…" I clutched his hospital gown and sobbed into his chest, feeling tears hit my forehead, having fallen from Inuyasha's own eyes.

"Shh…" Inuyasha whispered, being the first to get it together. "Let's just sleep."

I sniffed loudly. "Okay."

And I fell asleep in his deathbed.

-x-

Waking up to a cold, not-breathing Inuyasha was the official start of my six month crazy streak. I threatened the doctors and nurses with their lives if they didn't bring him back to me. I visited about twelve different psychics and mediums. I bought a huge pillow that pregnant woman usually buy and I convinced myself I was sleeping with Inuyasha. I walked around in Inuyasha's clothes, bought Inuyasha's cologne and body-wash and drenched his clothes in it to try and mimic the smell. I cut myself off from the world and thought seriously about killing myself to join Inuyasha.

The worst was when I started reading some of the comics Souta left for Inuyasha that day. There was one were this girl meets a ghost and she's the only one who can see him and she can touch him and they soon fall in love. I started praying to God to bring Inuyasha back to me as a ghost like that. Sure, it would look weird to appear to be talking to myself in public, hugging and kissing thin air, but Inuyasha would be with me and I wouldn't care.

Needless to say, I was disappointed.

I received the first sign when I was walking home—still Inuyasha's apartment—in Inuyasha's red t-shirt, my own skinny jeans, my black boots, and Inuyasha's old leather jacket. I had been walking past the pet store when a barking dog caught my attention. She was a small puppy, white hair and ears just like Inuyasha's. Her eyes were a blue but she looked just like how a full dog version of Inuyasha would have looked.

I stared at her for a couple of minutes before barging in and buying her. I named her Rae. Inuyasha always said that he thought it was always a good name for a girl if we ever had kids and since we didn't get that far I figured Rae would have to suffice. Not that I think children are like dogs, but… Rae was sent to me by Inuyasha it was only right that I treated her like she was our kid. At least, that's the rationality of my still slightly crazed mind.

The signs started showing up more after that. I'd walk by a bench Inuyasha and I had spent the afternoon on once and I would be hit with a memory full force. I opened my Calculus book for the first time in what felt like forever and a picture of Inuyasha and I fell out, having served as a bookmark. I found movie ticket stubs in one of Inuyasha's jean pockets one morning. I was searching his drawer for a pair of boxers to wear to bed that night and I found an engagement ring. Rae found me in tears, curled up on the floor that day.

I placed the flowers down on the grave finally and stood from where I had been sitting for the past three hours, talking. I kissed the headstone like I always did and the wind blew lightly, playing with my hair, like it always did.

I closed my eyes and smiled. "I love you too, Inuyasha."

I will never fall in love again and I am completely fine with that. I will never, _ever _feel the way I feel about Inuyasha with somebody else so there is no point in looking. I'm not bitter about that fact. I'm happy because I want to love only Inuyasha. I'm at peace knowing this because all the signs he's sent are a reminder that he's always with me. I was stupid to think he ever left.

"Come on, Rae," I called as the white dog came running up to me, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. "It's time to go home."

**The signs were always there. Inuyasha has always been with me. I was just too blind to see them, to see him.**

_**-0-0-0-0-0-0-**_

**God, I feel like a bitch for just killing him off like that, but I tried to clean it up. To be honest, first I was going to have Inuyasha commit suicide but that seemed cruel since it would be like saying Kagome wasn't enough for him and I was already killing him so I didn't want to make it worse. Well, I hoped you enjoyed this one little sad oneshot that I'm working on while waiting to be hit with mass inspiration for my other stories. Well, I still have yet to run out of ideas for Walking Tightropes and it's more of a laziness issue I'm trying to work out that's holding me back from updating that.**

**This chick likes reviews so REVIEW!**

**~Kimiko888~**

**hanmajoerin loved, loved, loved this one-shot. She's also editing from a foreign country! Yay editing love and internet access. **


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